• Blog Stats

    • 1,336,845 hits

Behold, Doctorrrr! The new, fat, Daaalek race!!

Oh no, No, NO!!!!! 

I knew it was going too well, I just knew it.

Steven Moffat, what have you done?

How can you give us the brilliance of “Blink”, a wonderful new Doctor, a fantastic new Companion in Amy, and then so totally, totally, frak things up with the new Dalek design?!?!? What the **** were you thinking?!?!?!?!?!?

The previous Dalek design, the Russel T Davies era design, was, I think, absolutely brilliant. Look at it…

Now, that’s a killing machine. That’s hard. That means business. It’s made of cold, lifeless, clangy metal. It’s a death-dealing, civilisation-butchering tank of a thing. It’s nasty looking. It’s sphincter-tighteningly eeevil. It clearly rolls over injured kittens without a second thought.

But this new one, this… great, padded, sherbet-coloured abomination… it’s  a hideous, hideous thing…

Look at that. Just look at it. It’s fat, and bloated and looks… soft. It’s a padded dalek. A soft toy dalek. And it’s fat. It looks like it’s half marshmallow and half plastic.

And it’s fat.

As someone put it so brilliantly on a message board I stumbled across:

“Who ate all the Thals? Who ate all the Thals? You, fat dalek! You, fat dalek! You ate all the Thals!”

Someone, anyone, please tell me we’re not stuck with this horrible thing now? Someone, anyone please tell me that this is just some bizarre timey wimey, wibbly wobbly perversion that will be banished once the good Doctor flashes his sonic screwdriver at the vortex and Puts Things Right Again.

Sigh.

No, that’s not going to happen, is it? A lot of money has been spent on this new creation. They’ll flog it for all it’s worth.

Why? Why break something that wasn’t broken? Why mess with something that didn’t need messing with?

Well, obviously new ‘showrunner’ Steven Moffat is keen to stamp his own identity on the new look series, that’s understandable. Russell T Davies’ shadow is long, and dark, and Moffat has been in it for a long time. But I reckon there’s a different reason behind this Dalek makeover. And no, it’s not an “homage” to the daleks of years gone by, it’s not Moffat’s latest nod to the classic era of Who, it’s this…

£ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £

The BBC have obviously decided that the Daleks weren’t marketable enough, weren’t commeercial enough, the way they were, so they’ve done the same thing to them that they do to everything in their kid-friendly TV series: made the characters different bright colours to make them more individual, and more appealing as ****** soft toys.

Behold, Doctor, the Teletubby Daleks! We will invade your toy shops! We will blind you with our bright colour schemes! We will make you a ridiculous amount of money!

I’m all for change, things shouldn’t stand still,e specially in Dr Who. I mean… main character, regeration and all that. Genius. And the new Cybermen. mean-looking. The new Sontarans: much improved. But the new, fat, Ikea range dalek… it’s just a bad, bad design. It doesn’t work.

This works…

No, no, not Amy’s short skirt and cowboy boots look… though that does work, brilliantly… 🙂 I mean the dalek. You look at that and just know it wants to kitchen sink plunger you to death and go on its way. The new dalek is just… just… awful.

Steven, listen… you don’t have to undo everything Russell did. Stamp your own mark on the series, sure, but don’t just change things for the sake of it. What’s next? Badly-painted orange polystyrene Zygons so stiff they look like they’ve bathed in botox?

Maybe Mr Moffat is actually a secret Star Trek fan, and he decided that what was missing from Who was a ranking colour scheme, like Starfleet has for its starship crews? If that’s the case, then are the red daleks, like the one on the end here, destined to be killed in the first moments of each new episode, like the unfortunate but legendary “red shirt” ensigns in Star Trek..?

( And while we’re at it, for the love of god, please, BBC, will you turn the ********* music down!!! It literally drowns out the dialogue in places. )

Another volcanic sunrise hunt…

…ended in failure this morning. I think. One of my photos shows this…

…but that pinky glow certainly wasn’t visible to my eyes, so it might just be a camera thing. Don’t care. It’s still a pretty picture!

But this one… THIS one made getting up at ridiculous o’clock again worth it. Ive waited YEARS to get a shot like this…

I know I’ve said it before, but I love my new camera 🙂 🙂